TODAY’S edition of You Couldn’t Make It Up comes from Shropshire, where a Punch And Judy show has been banned for being too violent.

Ronnie Alden, a 70-year-old professional showman from Telford, has been told he can’t perform at the Woodside Primary School, in Oswestry, because it might upset the children.
The school doesn’t like the idea of puppets hitting each other with sticks and a baby being thrown downstairs.

Mr Alden, who has been a Punch And Judy man for six decades, even offered to tone down the show so that Mr Punch is slapped over the wrist instead of being whacked over the head.
But the only acceptable modern version would be for Mr Punch to be arrested and put on the sexual offenders register.

Mrs Punch would be given a place at a battered wives’ hostel and the baby taken into care by social services before being adopted by a gay couple.

The crocodile would be rescued by animal rights activists and the policeman charged with institutional racism and brutality.

That’s the way to do it!

May 4th 2004 : Originally published in the Shropshire Star

Ronnie told his Punch and Judy too violent

That's the way to do it - or maybe it isn't in this day and age.

A Shropshire Punch and Judy showman says he has been told for the first time in his 60-year career he will not be allowed to perform at a school unless he tones down the violence.

Ronnie Alden, who has performed for children across Britain, the world, and even in front of Prince Edward, says he is "offended" by the request from bosses at Woodside Primary School in Oswestry.

The 70-year-old professional showman, from Collett Way, Priorslee, Telford, said his visit to the school had now been cancelled, although the school today said it would be happy to discuss the situation.

The traditional show, believed to have been first performed in England 341 years ago, shows the puppets hitting each other with sticks and a baby being thrown down stairs.

Mr Alden said he always made sure the violence was toned down for a younger audience.
He said today: "I said I could change it so Mr Punch is slapped over the wrist instead of being hit with a stick. The show teaches children good from bad.

"If I had a pound for every child I performed in front of I would be a millionaire. This is the very first show in 60 years that I have had cancelled."

He added: "I feel grossly offended to be told my show is too violent."

 

May 5th 2004 : Originally published on the BBC Shropshire

School knocks out Punch for show

A Punch and Judy man says he was banned from performing at a school because his show was too violent.

Ronnie Alden claims staff at Woodside Primary School in Oswestry, Shropshire, thought his traditional act was "unsuitable" for young children.

The school's head said the puppeteer had not been barred, but was asked about the content of his performance.

Mr Alden said: "My play is a morality play - when Mr Punch is wrong, he gets told off by the children."

He says staff at the school thought pupils could be affected by the sight of characters being hit with sticks and a baby being thrown downstairs.

Mr Alden said it was the first time in more than 50 years he had been told "that's not the way to do it".

He said he always toned down the violence for younger children.

The school has offered to discuss an amended version of the show with Mr Alden.